another moral hangover. fuck.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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