friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
