My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
