Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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