I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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