I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I AM VODKA MAN
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
