We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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