Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize