These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
