Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
