Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
