The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
