He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
