Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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