i don't like sucking hair
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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