It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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