the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
