Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
