I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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