atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
