dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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