STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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