I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
