My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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