I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
