she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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