Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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