Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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