Can i not drive my cunt home
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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