It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
