can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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