I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
