And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
