ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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