Say something about gay babies.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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