A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
