cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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