I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
