you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
