We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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