no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
