arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
