I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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