Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
