Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
