It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
