yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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