in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
