Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
