i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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