talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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