sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
