like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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