Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
