your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
