last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
