He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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