either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
